These are all differing career (and life) journeys, yet the one thing these films have in common is that they end with our hero walking off into the sunset having achieved career utopia. Then the curtain comes down. Yet life is not as simple as a Hollywood script. There is no sunset and closing music when we achieve a career goal. In life, we achieve a goal or overcome an obstacle, and then we are faced with the next one. This is what was happening with my mentee, Frances.

Francis had worked in corporate America for many years and achieved a modest level of success before realizing that she would be happier in the non-profit sector. She (like most of us) wanted to feel that her work was contributing to something bigger than herself; something that might help other people. So she accepted a role in a small, non-profit organization that paid considerably less in salary, but a bit more in good will. Frances may have been planning on career utopia, but after a few months she realized that some of the things she thought she was getting away from (workplace politics, long hours) were just as present in the non-profit world as they had been in the corporate environment. Still, she enjoyed knowing that her work was helping others in a tangible way, and she persisted. Then her son began to struggle in school. He was tested and found to have Asperger’s Syndrome, a condition on the autism spectrum. Like many kids with AS, her son was very high functioning with an IQ higher than many adults, yet he had significant special needs that would have to be addressed. Now, she was dealing with finding solutions.

Frances took the time to look at her options and the programs offered to help her son. After a lot of research and looking, she found a great school not far from where she lives. There was only one problem….it was private and her non-profit salary would not be there to cover it. Frances is a dedicated parent and she knew she had to make some changes to help her son. As we spoke about the options, we began to discuss her career and current job. She was ready for a new challenge, but had been focusing more on the non-profit sector, since this was her most recent experience. Now, as we discussed the plan, she knew that she needed to focus more on career opportunities in the corporate arena for financial benefits it would bring.

Frances described some previous opportunities with large salaries that she had turned down, and when I asked her why, her explanation was that she didn’t want to be “owned” by the company because of a big salary. She was looking for more balance. As we discussed “ownership”, we discussed value and return on investment (ROI) from a company’s perspective. As you move up the corporate ladder and gain more responsibility (and more benefits) doesn’t that correlate to more “ownership” of you and your time? Isn’t this part of the struggle and discussion regarding work-life balance? Of course it is. This is why people struggle with the questions of ‘what is balance’ and ‘how do I find it?’ My belief is that there isn’t one definition of balance, just as there is no job “utopia”. Instead, I see each person having their own equation of career and personal satisfaction, and each equation has several variables. Salary is one part, job satisfaction another, hours in the office is another, travel for work another, even commute time fits into the equation.

I also don’t believe the equation is static. For example, until Frances learned about her son, her career equation was working for her. Now her circumstances had changed, and the equation that worked for her at one time no longer could meet her needs. As we looked at the types of jobs she would seek, Frances began to understand that while there is more flexibility in the non-profit sector, the corporate sector was more likely to deliver the salary she’d need. We even discussed working for herself, and realized that even your clients have expectations, creating a sense of “ownership” that comes from that side as well. Not to mention, you must deliver great customer satisfaction, so you can gain the next client.

So, we explored some options of how to find the best new equation from a corporate opportunity. What I advised her to try was to first “wow” the prospective hiring company and once they wanted her on the team, try to negotiate the best equation, possibly to include:

Working from home half of a day to a day a week
Working onsite for a 40 hour work week but adding hours from home after taking care of the family (such as logging into the network from 8-10)
Working late one day a week but keeping standard, 8-5 hours the rest of the week

After this discussion, Frances decided to pick up her career search on the corporate side. She also recognized that there will be some “ownership” from the company. But in the end, she is doing this to provide the best education for her son, who is her top priority in her career equation. Frances has given herself a year to find an opportunity and I am sure she will find a good one. So, there is no career utopia (in any business sector.) But if you can develop a career equation that helps you fulfill your personal goals, it will move you forward in your life’s journey, and that is better than any Hollywood ending.

Gone are the days when mentoring was strictly a formal, professional interaction. Today, mentoring can be informal and situational, and can reach well beyond career issues. Savvy professionals tap mentors who will help them develop skill sets, who will help them enhance professional presence and who will help them grow in many aspects of their lives.

Just as we seek many friendships and relationships in our personal lives, developing numerous mentoring relationships helps nurture us as professionals. I view this as building your Personal Board of Directors.

I remember a discussion I had with one of my mentees, Stacey, about how to design her journey and move forward in all aspects of her life. I introduced her to the concept of a Personal Board of Directors. From my perspective, a Personal Board of Directors should consist of individuals from all aspects of your life – aspects such as health, family, self, career, and spiritual… just like mentoring.

In fact, these directors are the people who know you the best and who will be completely honest with you as you move through this journey called ‘life’. These are people with whom you would share and discuss the ups, downs, changes, challenges and joys in life – people who truly understand you and your goals.

When building your own Personal Board of Directors, I recommend considering people that:

• You respect.
• Understand your trade and/or career requirements.
• Share a belief system/code of ethics.
• Have similar and different family dynamics.
• Are capable of understanding your needs and desires.

Through this conversation, Stacey identified individuals whom she respected. You may wonder whether this really matters, but the truth is that, sometimes, the gift of candid feedback may be hard to accept. There are occasions when challenging advice may be given, and, if you respect the source of that guidance, it is far easier to accept. You also want individuals who will support you and root for your success. There is no place for jealousy on your Board of Directors. They are your cheerleaders, as well as your disciplinarians when needed.

Once you have identified a solid pool of candidates for your Board, I also advise looking inward to identify the reasons why you need your Board, such as your own:

• Skills gaps.
• Desire for innovation.
• Need for deeper institutional knowledge.
• Balance of mentors within and outside of your organization.

Stacey continued and made a list of individuals who understood her career field and interests. Next, she asked herself, “Do I know anyone who has travelled a road like mine?” Stacey thought about people who came from similar backgrounds, who had struggled and who had achieved success (as she defined it). I encouraged her to consider people who might not have exactly the same background so that she could gain a variety of perspectives. (Too much of any one background or perspective leaves no room for diversity of thought and solutions.)

Along those lines, I also encouraged her to consider members of the opposite sex. It is very important to have men and women on your Board of Directors. In Stacey’s case, a man’s perspective was helpful in understanding how male colleagues thought and operated in the same career field. This would become a great asset to her throughout her journey. When properly cultivated, your Personal Board of Directors can become a community that can really help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your priorities, hone your strengths, and identify solid paths to your best opportunities. What I mean by ‘properly cultivated’ is working with your directors in many different ways, and developing your own strategic plan for working with them.

Stacey continued to put her Board together and even added her minister to her Board of Directors, since one of her goals was to remain grounded in her faith. (Many people I’ve worked with find it important to include a source of spirituality. No matter how they define it, it is important on their Board.) Stacey wanted to maintain her foundation as she faced difficult challenges. One of the issues Stacey faced was being the go-to person for additional work, simply because she was single. Many of her colleagues were married and had families, and she was viewed as having fewer personal responsibilities. She wanted someone on her Board who could help her navigate this situation. We discussed the importance of her right to her personal time, regardless of how and with whom she spent it. Stacey is a high performer, yet she needed to make her boundaries at work clear.

Stacey also added someone in the next stage of their life and career, as she wanted to be prepared for upcoming changes and challenges by discussing these with someone not much older than her, but who had gone through this stage. I thought this was a really wise move. As Stacey put all of these names together, we discussed the importance of buy-in and honesty. I advised her to have a candid conversation with each of these individuals about why she was building her Personal Board of Directors, and specifically what she was looking for from her Board members, including:

• Honesty.
• Ideas and solutions for challenges being faced.
• Recommendations on how to prepare for the next steps in her journey.
• Someone to really listen and hear her needs and issues.
• Willingness to commit to at least one 30-minute conversation each quarter, or as needed when timing is of the essence.

In addition, she had to let them know her level of commitment to this process by agreeing to:

• Be open to feedback.
• Follow through on solutions that were advised and report back on results.
• Consider the next steps and come to the table with ideas in hand.
• Plan the schedule of appointments for the conversations or meetings.
• Provide any assistance needed – for she was a resource for them to count on as well.

A few weeks later, Stacey and I met to discuss her experience in forming her Board of Directors. Her experience had been very positive and the people whom she had approached were willing to participate and were very happy that she had asked them. She also indicated that they were especially pleased that she was making a commitment to the process and to them. Stacey was also a valuable resource and was eager for them to know that she viewed their relationship as reciprocal. I continue to check in with Stacey and, I must say, I am very pleased and happy for her. At my suggestion, she has been keeping a journal of lessons learned and has amazing results to share. This has become a valuable tool to refer to for ideas in the future.

When I asked her about how she felt about her Board of Directors, she responded, “I love the gifts that I get to open and use. I have also learned that I don’t have to keep all the gifts; I can return the ones that don’t fit and say, ‘Thanks, but this one is not for me.’ In other words, I respect all of the feedback I receive from my Board, but I can select the right advice for my journey.”

I always say that mentoring partnerships are reciprocal, and I have learned as many valuable lessons from my mentees as I have taught as a mentor. One mentee taught me how a carefully considered plan can help us navigate through unexpected (and potentially harmful) situations.

My mother told me never to burn bridges, and, over time, I have learned that there are good reasons to pay attention to old adages. My mentee, Caroline, recently avoided a collision with misfortune when she followed this same proverb.

Caroline had been successful in her job for many years and had mastered the responsibilities of her role. We discussed her career path and she shared that she was ready for her next challenge. I asked her to outline, as specifically as she could, the things that she wanted to accomplish in the future. From this exercise, and many follow-up conversations, her plan began to take shape.

Along with her plan, we discussed the importance of her keeping her manager abreast of her desire for professional growth. This meant not waiting for an annual review to speak about her goals. She soon took the opportunity to discuss her goals, objectives and projects with her manager, and made it known (to her manager and then to others in the organization) that she was interested in expanding her responsibilities should an opportunity become available. That opportunity did become available – just at another company. By networking with friends and colleagues, she learned about a job she wanted to explore. She explored… and she won! The job was hers. She couldn’t believe it, and she looked forward to the next chapter of her career, yet she handled the transition professionally by giving appropriate notice to her manager.
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As she prepared to wrap up her current role and begin a new one, she found out during a routine doctor’s visit that she needed surgery. This unexpected news flooded her with questions. How could she start a new job that didn’t offer health benefits for 30 days when she needed surgery now? She was more than ready to transition to this role, but the stress of not knowing what might happen with her health (and the expense of health care without benefits) was unbearable. She wondered whether she should tell her new company about the situation, and would they wait? Should she tell her current job, and would they care, since she had resigned? These were all real questions with serious consequences. Her ability to talk to mentors and to network about her specific circumstances helped her to find peace. She decided to speak to her new employer, and, when she did, they told her that they wanted her and were committed to giving her what she needed – even if it meant additional time at her current company. She also decided to talk to her current manager, and, because she had been honest and open with them from the start, they were also willing to support her during her unexpected circumstances. Her ability to perform, and her integrity in dealing with the two companies, were powerful reasons for both companies to give her support to deal with her personal situation.

As I watched this unfold in the best way I could imagine, I heard my mother’s voice saying, “That’s why you never burn a bridge.” She was right. I always advise my mentees to keep the relationship as positive as possible when leaving a company. Never speak negatively of a previous employer or past colleagues, as you never know what might happen. I’ve seen this over and over again, though rarely with such dramatic circumstances. Throughout a professional career, most of us encounter previous colleagues and managers – sometimes as customers, as new colleagues or even as repeat hiring managers. This makes sense when you consider that a previous manager is most familiar with your work. By leaving on a positive note, they will think of you first when a great opportunity comes along (not to mention the importance of having positive references from past employers).

Caroline’s story went well. Her amazing husband and three children helped her through her illness, and she soon recovered and began her new job. She is very excited about this opportunity for growth.

As I reflect on Caroline’s story, there are several questions that you might be asking:

When you are working in a company and want to expand your opportunities, how do you let others know? Who do you tell? When is it perceived that you must be unhappy or disgruntled because you want something new?

How do you deal with the life challenges that present themselves when you don’t have control of the situation and when you can’t plan for them in just the way you want to?

Every company has its own culture, and it’s important to understand the culture where you work. In some organizations, it is expected that you only discuss your goals and career objectives with your direct supervisor. The thought is that they are responsible for your development and should ensure that your development needs are met. This can be a challenge if your manager is not equipped to meet your professional need for growth and advancement. So, what do you do?
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One option is to ensure that your human resources representative is aware of your desire to develop. This is part of their function in the company, and, because they are thoroughly aware of all developmental opportunities (as well as of company needs), they can help. Another option is to seek professional experiences in order to expand your skills. You can volunteer for other projects, committees, and initiatives (both within your organization and in your industry). This will give you exposure and practical experience working in the direction that you would like to go in the future. Find out the accepted protocol for your company’s environment and move forward!

Another lesson I learned from Caroline’s experience is that, when facing life challenges, you have to draw on your strength. Caroline relied on her mentors, her family and a deep sense of faith to get through her illness and make the best of a difficult situation. Caroline reminded me that we must keep in mind that life happens! It always will. How we handle and deal with the unexpected is a valuable part of our professional and life journe